NK Satire: The week that was October 28 to November 3

News Karnataka

NK Satire: The week that was October 28 to November 3

NK Satire: The week that was October 28 to November 3

Brian Fernandes   ¦    Nov 03, 2018 11:13:22 AM (IST)


NK Satire: The week that was October 28 to November 3-1“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here's the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)

Let me begin with Irony of Iron on Halloween! The Iron man was clad in bronze… from China, a country he so tried to keep out of India! While the statue stands united in its many parts - and like India there are many varied parts - India and sadly its Institutions (almost all of them, the last man standing being the RBI) stands divided! Indeed the ruling party has kept its promise – Maximum Government, Minimum Governance or is it the other way around? Can’t seem to remember, just said it like it is!

Prompt Corrective Action (PCA) by the Government on itself, such as the RBI has imposed on the Banks is called for but that in itself is a sticking point – or is it unsticking point? – Between the RBI and Government. The Government wants the banks to lend money for nothing, like they did before, and then make them the fall guys for failure to collect. No way says the RBI. Enough is enough. Come on guys, don’t get worked up. Stay calm, don’t be like big business, be like statue . According to the World Bank it’s now easy to do business, but we need the money to start up and skill up. The statue is done and dusted can the RBI not at least share the balance.. or is there none left?

The World Bank has ranked India at 77 on the ease of doing business Index. It has climbed 23 places in one year and it is news that has made the Government shout with joy from the rooftops – They couldn’t help themselves. After all these have been trying times, what with one statutory institution after another becoming more like statues of disunity! But the World Bank is not the RBI, it’s not independent (pun intended).

The ranking is reflective of reality. There is evidence that the business environment has improved. Companies in India, at least some of them, can register the company in anticipation of a huge contract and seal the deal in 10 days after registering – that doesn’t happen elsewhere in the world! Also, the wheels of business seem well oiled despite the squeeze on black money – maybe due to the variety of colors of currency available now!

Easier now are loans for the MSME’s (provided the RBI backs down) –Here’s a tweet from the PM at 8:01 AM on 2 Nov 2018. “Access to credit is a major challenge for the MSME sector. In order to mitigate this challenge, delighted to share that through a portal, a loan upto Rs. 1 crore would be available in 59 minutes…yes, 59 minutes! Let there be no limitations for India’s entrepreneurial energy! “ So you can draw a loan of upto Rs: 1 Crore in 59 minutes online and repay it over 5256000 Minutes (Maybe or maybe not at all and live in Antigua – London is tough)! This Diwali you will have the extra joy of making the banks Diwali!

Actor Anupam Kher lived in Dr. Manmohan Singh’s clothes for a year, and seems to have imbibed his philosophy, his calm, his knowledge, his intelligence and his sagacity while filming for ‘The Accidental Prime Minister’ a biographical film on the former PM’s tenure of 10 years in office. By all accounts he is an ardent fan of current PM, but is primarily an actor and a very good one at that so the role itself may have been an accident that left a lasting impact on him! - After living inside the former’s skin, he has mentioned in a post how his perception about the former PM changed after living the role for a year. He wrote, “One thing is sure ‘History will not misjudge you’”. Ironically he has almost simultaneously resigned as Chairman of the Pune-based Film and Television Institute of India (FTII), citing his preoccupation with international professional assignments. History will not misjudge his change of heart – It will applaud it!

According to media reports, Madhya Pradesh Chief Minister Shivraj Singh Chouhan's son Kartikey Chouhan (sounds similar to another of son of the soil – Karti Chidambaram!) filed a defamation case against Congress president Rahul Gandhi for claiming that his name featured in the Panama Papers. Panama Papers refer to the leak of millions of files from the database of the world's fourth biggest offshore law firm Mossak Fonseca that helped in setting up off-shore entities. Mr Gandhi later clarified that he was referring to Chhattisgarh Chief Minister Raman Singh's son and not Kartikeya. But even while clarifying, the Congress president didn't spare the opportunity of taking another dig, saying that he got "confused" due to the "high number of scams" under BJP governments.

In our political world, satire comes easy my friend – this whole episode itself is satirical and I feel redundant! Meanwhile the Panama Papers, seem back where they belong, in the Panama Canal. Nobody even talks about them anymore, barring Rahul Gandhi that is!

The hastag #Metoo was googled over 19 Million times since it first became a social media hit (man) over a year ago. There were some at Google though, senior executives at that, who goggled (googling + ogling) and then gurgled with glee at their exit packages when caught out.
Howver, a New York times story on the subject that appeared last week prompted over 150 Google employees from three offices in India—Mumbai, Hyderabad, and Gurugram— to walk out of their office on Thursday as part of a global protest against the lenient manner in which the global technology company dealt with cases of global executives involved in sexual harassment cases. The management is now searching for answers and they are not googling for it! #Metoo may popup due to SEO!

India is heading for a division by statue even as its statutes are all about unity. The competition “Kaun Banega Statuepathy” is in its first full season, though preparation began a while ago in anticipation of 2019. After the Iron man’s statue clad in bronze was inaugurated in Gujarat, Maharastra is looking to inaugurate an even taller and costlier one - a statue of Maharaja Chatrapathi Shivaji in Mumbai in 2021. According to information in the media it is being fabricated at a cost of Rs 3800 crores and will have a height of 212 metres, surpassing the height of the Sardar Patel statue in Gujarat. But can a Yogi be left behind in the competition? He has plans for a 150 meter Statue of Lord Ram on the banks of Saryu River in Ayodhya. An announcement may be made on the occasion of Dwiali. In times of unemployment and recession, it is good way to reduce angst and increase votes and the fiscal deficit.

The Last word

Parts of Karnataka are voting today for people that they have voted for before.. Will history repeat or be created? Your vote is precious cast it…in Iron, not EVM!

Have a great weekend and great week ahead

The author can be contacted at Brian@newskarnataka.com