A friend’s daughter was to answer an important college exam last year, an exam that was to have great impact on her future. The previous day however, all of her family including herself, were shocked and distressed when she fell sick with what seemed to be a case of acute food poisoning. She was so sick, that they had to rush her to the hospital for dextrose drips in the night. All hopes of her answering the all-important examination evaporated as the dextrose dripped into her comatose body.
She recovered enough to go home that night, but by morning, she had slipped back into a semi-comatose state. It was about an hour before the exam was to start, when a miracle occurred – her friend dropped by. She woke her up, and gave her a pep talk, that neither parent could have given. For some reason, which neither parent can fathom even today, it seemed to revive her, and she seemed full of energy. She quickly dressed up, grabbed her stationery and hall ticket and was taken to the exam hall, where the college made special arrangements to monitor her health as she answered the examination. She cleared the exam, which until an hour before was a no hoper.
When I heard of this incident from my friend, I pondered deeply over this unique human phenomenon – friendship. My experienced guess is it’s about love and trust as very simply explained by a five year old girl to a friend who asked her, “What is friendship?” She replied, “friendship is when you take my chocolates from my bag every day, and I still keep it in the same place”.
Indeed the best of friends can change a frown into a smile, and ill health into a well-being as evidenced from this narrative. They very quickly understand your thoughts and emotions as you go through your numerous life trials and lend a hand, share your dreams and support them no matter their own state of life. They share whatever they have, because they care, and are generally just there to help you unwind.
That has certainly been my experience. I am reminded of the similar roles the friends of my teenage years played in my life and I am always grateful for that experience. They are still around, and we still do meet, but for a while, like for all teens they were family. The roles interchange as life motors along, as friends become family and then reverse with the passage of time.
Brutus is not unheard of though. Life’s circumstances, greed, or envy can transform friendship into tragedy and humiliation, and can destroy trust in human beings forever. However constantly being on guard against this possible back stabbing behaviour, can and will destroy the joys of a genuine friendship which is born out of man’s nature and necessity.
God did not create Eve for procreation alone. He created her to provide companionship to another of his creations, Adam, whom he had already created a social animal. Aristotle the legendary Greek philosopher confirmed this when he said more than two thousand three hundred (2300 years ago, “Man is a social animal. He who lives without society is either a beast or God”.
He knew that man would need his own kind to develop his inherent human qualities, which would otherwise have remained suppressed as the case of the two ‘wolf children’ demonstrates. Man is needs companionship of his own kind to activate the human qualities in him, which are normally hidden – like a software product key!
Two children namedAmala and Kamala were discovered in a wolf’s den in 1920. By that time Amala was two years old and Kamala was eight years old. Amala died soon after the discovery. But Kamala who was identified as wolf’s child survived till 1929. When found, she did not behave like a normal human being. She walked on four limbs like a wolf, possessed no language skill, and growled like a wolf. She was shy and afraid of human beings. After careful and sympathetic training by caring human beings, she was able to access and activate her innate human qualities.
All in all, friendship does play an important and valuable role in our lives – It makes us human – caring, sharing loving humans. It is a bond that crosses genders, though some societies and some institutions (like marriage) frown on such friendships, and such bonds do need to be recognised and celebrated.
The United States Congress, in 1935, proclaimed the first Sunday of August as the “National Friendship Day”. Since then, celebration of “Friendship Day” has become an annual popular event around the world including India – a day when bands, gifts, hugs and kisses are exchanged with abandon, and rightly so, for it’s the lifeblood of a peaceful world, something we all yearn for these days.
