‘A tablet to remind old people when to take tablet,’ read the bold-lines in a national daily recently and my first reaction was: Is it a joke or is someone pulling a fast one, but with some real meaning behind it. Or was it a simple case of impressing the way only few can do! Before I proceeded with the news-item; I was instantly taken back down memory lane where two similar incidents lay dormant.
• The first is about an affluent person from a particular community in Northern India, who had invited all his friends and relatives for a house-warming ceremony. After the customary puja-and-hawan, and before leading them to the sumptuous lunch that he had arranged, he took them around the newly-constructed house. When he reached the backyard, he pointed to three swimming-pools to the utter astonishment of all. Pointing to the first one, he mentioned that it would have warm water for swimming in winters. Then he mentioned that the second one would have cold water to enjoy swimming in hot summer months; and after that he did not say anything else and became silent. Breaking the silence, a guest asked, ‘how about the third one?’ With a big smile on his face, the owner of the house said, ‘It will remain empty to cater for those days when we don’t feel like swimming.’
• The second incident is from a film in which one of the comedians was boasting about his affluent living and as an example pointed to the fourpairs of spectacles lying on the table that he claimed he used regularly. The astonished visitor mentioned that it was common to see so many sun-glasses but not the spectacles and inquired as to what was the purpose of having so many of them. The comedian in his impeccable voice said, ‘The first one is for seeing distant objects clearly; the second one is for seeing the near objects clearly and the third one is for those moments when I do not want to see anything clearly,’ after which he fell silent. When the guest asked as to what was the fourth one for, he said with a smile, ‘this is for searching the other ones when I misplace them.’
With a smile on my face after recounting the two funny incidents, I came back to the real world and tried to focus on the news item. I was wondering how a tablet could help the people remind about taking tablets. Well, if a person fails to take the normal tablets, how would be remember to take the tablet-reminding tablet! The confusion and the mystery were sorted out when I read the news in detail: the first tablet being referred to in the headlines was the ‘iPad’ the Japanese had designed that would help almost a quarter of its population of 127 million who are aged over 65 years. The iPad with the newly developed apps and the analytics by IBM would remind the old people as to when to take tablets and medicine by sending out sound bites.
Well, it was a clever use of the same word ‘tablet’ to have eye-catching effect. While acknowledging the effectiveness, I once again drifted in to the past, almost fifty-years back to my first year in the engineering college, where for the first time, I was interacting with students from different regions of the country. We had many smart students, but in this context I was reminded of one particularly smart-one, though not really intelligent, from a reputed public school whose English was not only really good but what we used to call fantastic. He used to use bombastic words to impress one and all as a matter of habit and the fact that he invariably succeeded in creating the impression is evident from two of theincidents and the exact sentences he used that I remember till date.
• In his letter to the postmaster complaining about the postman, as asked by the English teacher to be written as a part of the assignment, he had written, ‘he is consistently inconsistent and regularly irregular.’
• At another time, he told the engine workshop assistant, who was a mere matriculate: Your question has already been answered. If that answers does not address your question, ask another question.
The news-item and the remembrance of Bhuppi, yeah that was the nick-name of my friend in question, made me think of many other friends, colleagues and acquaintances who are quite adapt in devising impressive ways to impress people. Instantly I was reminded of a school-friend of mine who had the habit of recording interesting things in his note-books. A phone-call to him yielded positive results since he had not discontinued the practice. However he demanded a price to part with the information: a visit to his house in the nearby village where he had settled after retirement.
Digging into his book for something relevant to the topic, he came across ‘Contronyms,’ interesting words and phrases that, depending on the context, can have different opposite or contradictory meanings. It primarily means usage of ‘a single word’ twice or more in a sentence conveying different meaning. Well, the English language has almost 100 such words that can be used in two different methods.
In few cases such words can be used together like green paper was used to record ‘record’ profits;use simple language to address ‘address’ problems;the dump was so full that it had to refuse refuse; when shot at, the dove dove into the bushesand how much would you charge to polish Polish furniture?’
A word can however be used at two separate places in a sentence to convey entirely different meaning. Few of the interesting ones being:
• He tripped during his trip.
• He craned his neck to see the crane
• I need your sanction to sanction him
• He used a clip to clip the extra portion
• He used the table to table the proposal
• You don’t require a rock to rock the boat
• I shall seed the lawn before I seed a tomato
• Bolt the door to bolt away from your chasers.
• The gentlemen have left and the ladies are left
• You can stone mangoes but do not stone your neighbor.
There are cases where a word can also be used thrice e.g. the soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert; and since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
The use of such words is not recent. Even great men appear to have used it. Benjamin Franklin, one of the founding fathers of the United States had, way back in the eighteenth century said, ‘We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.’
Well, no doubt, it is an impressive way to impress others and is really fun, provided you use it to have fun and not to make fun of others.
Author
Wg Cdr (retd) DP Sabharwal is an aeronautical engineer by profession, a teacher by training and a writer by passion. He has been delivering training sessions on ‘personality development’ related soft skills. He is a researcher and author: Aerospace, having published more than 20 books.
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