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Broken marriages, increased divorces and the culture of independence

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India has evolved over the years. From the older times of gurukul education, we have been united by an ancient civilization getting slowly converted into an ever ever land. But with the digital age increasingly casting its influence on individuals, on families and altering, if not hijacking cultures, the institution of marriage remains of questionable debate. Love marriages have shown an increasing trend over the years in India. Youth come to believe that love marriage is a more meaningful and better choice over the more traditional format of marriages. What we ought to realize is that adjustment, the common bond that binds us together and the mutual respect is something that will build a successful marriage. Irrespective of arranged or love marriage, the story of a successful marriage rests on the shoulders of the two individuals who are willing to adjust and make compromises.

DIVORCEDivorce is growing up to be a more casual term today and perhaps its meant to be that way, for the way in which our society is shaping up. Divorce is a long process which paralyses an imperfect union in marriage. A path chosen primarily because of the refusal to communicate, to compromise and love. The reasons behind this can be many and far reaching, but the commitment to make it last is where we must unite upon.

The paradigm shift also needs to occur among parents where still many are stuck to their obsolete ideas. Many feel that the marriages should take place in the same caste, the guy should be elder to the girl, the astrologer should endorse the time of marriage and other funny notions which have been contested by history time and again.

There are more divorces occurring in India and its growing three fold. The day is not far away when it will supersede marriages by all means.

The most common causes for increasing divorce rates are couples want their individual freedom, they don’t have any understanding between them, neither of them want to compromise or accept their mistake, even if they have committed it. The ego between the couples also make them not to accept their fault. The institution of marriages hovers around lack of attention given to the other partner, infidelity, and telling lies to tell the truth.

Families need to be built on the promise of sacrifice. It cannot be my way or high way model. If the man expects his wife to cook, he should support the home equally by washing clothes or ironing them. If the wife expects her man to help in house chores, she should equally take part in his workplace concerns and personal choices. Today’s youth are unable to understand what is love. Love is when you remove the passion, the romance from the relationship and just be together for its own sake. Merely getting physical and indulging in sexual pleasures does not quantify love. Love is a very deep entity which most youth fail to realize. Habits of drinking, smoking are contributing factors which wreck today’s marriages and part of this blame should be shared by improper parenting.

Divorce has its harmful effects.The most common side effect of divorce is increased depression because people experience the loss of a partner, hope, dreams and lifestyle. They experience anger and resentment towards others and themselves, frequently break rules, increase isolation and withdrawal from family, violence, a failure to acknowledge responsibility. This also translates into destructive behaviour, desire to be alone and might also lead to psychiatric illnesses. Divorce affects the child in the house more than it affects the parent. It leaves a lifetime impact on the child whichever way the child grows up to be. The culture of independence, the song on gender equality, need to grow deeper with inclusive thoughts to protect marriages, to halt the divorce rates and to recover lost sense. In a world that isincreasingly becoming radical, it is urgent to re-discover grounds of hope.

About the Author:

Sushmita Gupta, is a medical student at Yenepoya University. 

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