“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
The Kingfisher flew away a while ago, while it still could. Everyone wants it back soonest because it’s become an endangered species or a species that endangers everyone as this week showed.
The Indian establishment has even made a special cage for it, painting and lighting it up and setting it up like a film set, all so that it may return to perch there, by force if necessary. A gilded cage if ever there was one! The UK court hearing the poaching case was shown the interiors of the cage and told that Indians love their birds especially when they fly away. The Court was told that we love our birds so much that we would like to bring them home – we’ve even built a special cage for them where no harm will come to them. We will not harm them… even if they have harmed us.
But the Kingfisher is not the King of good times for nothing. This week when the king spilt his beer, everyone but everyone ran to either mop it up or lap it up depending upon their addiction. Now it’s down to that essential of management – time management – did he have time or did he not to meet. And if he did meet was there meat in the meet? And if there was none why all the beef about it?
But it was a bird who whispered – not a kingfisher – that the Indian team, like the Royal Challengers Bangalore, kept losing in England, because the King of Good Times was having a bad time when he watched them play…
The real satire, however, lies in how the media dealt with the alleged, now confirmed (only duration is disputed) meeting of 2016, by quoting correspondence of 2010 and the FM’s itinerary of the day of the meeting. Was it the desperation of the anchors or the owners it’s difficult to say, but with the kingfisher airlines defunct, they felt that maybe the options to fly away were dwindling especially after the former Governor of the RBI, told a parliamentary committee that he had indeed submitted a list to the government during his tenure and all they did was spill the beer on it smudging the names on the list.
Meanwhile, the Catholic Church was caught up in its habits, figuratively speaking – the Good, bad and ugly. A nun accused a Bishop of rape. He cried conspiracy and sought divine intervention which came to pass when he decided to hand over charge of the diocese to another priest and speculation is rife that he may give up his habits… good and bad. Either way, the Pope has a lot to deal with all over the world…as times change and, where once the Word had become flesh, today, the flesh has become the word. Habits are hard to break or give up, and when you do there’s a price to pay and there’s no way to avoid it. Ironically it was Alexander Pope who wrote “To err is human, to forgive divine” in his essay on criticism.
Our law enforcement system is mostly dependent on the enforcer for direction – remember the Godfather? Maybe it’s a good thing… for you know if you are guilty you can get away with it and if you are innocent you will be harassed if not punished! There’s a unique clarity in the system.
In Kerala, many eons ago, a renowned space scientist, then at the height of his powers, was grounded just when he was about to soar – he was arrested for spying and then released. But neither the enforcer nor the enforcement agency could espy the spy in him. Now the Supreme Court has ordered he be paid compensation for loss of reputation, earning and mental peace. So many have undergone what he has, that we can expect the fiscal deficit to widen drastically in the near future. But elsewhere in the present, in a state that is known for its strong girls and stronger boys, a gang rape of an academics topper took place and there have been no arrests so far… The enforcer says the law will be enforced – Maybe they are cautious because they don’t want the fiscal deficit to widen!
Which brings us to the economy. Media reports say that the PM held an economic review meet which many in the government attended. They drove up in their cars to review the petrol prices. But sadly they did not discuss their travel entitlements. In contrast, they decided to withdraw the withholding tax on Masala bonds (different from electoral bonds my friend – don’t let your imagination run wild). They are Bonds issued outside India but denominated in Indian rupees. The current withholding tax on such bonds is 5 per cent.
Post the meeting, the FM blamed external factors for the soaring petrol prices and the dwindling rupee but not his own fuel excise rate hike which enabled the government to spend extra on fuel for their travel to review the economy! Oh! The circle of life…
Ironically it was high fuel prices that clipped the wings of our extinct Kingfisher – after all, beer is no substitute for aviation fuel.
Last word
Vice President Venkaiah Naidu on Friday referred to English as an illness left behind by the British, The Hindu reported. He was speaking at an event organised by the Union Home Ministry in New Delhi to observe “Hindi Divas”. “Jo bemari angrezi wala chhod kar gaya, is bimari se hamein mukt karna chahiye [We need to rid ourselves of the disease that the English have left behind],” Naidu said. That would mean 10% of our population is ill. No wonder the introduction of the Ayushman Bharat health insurance schemewas pushed through in a hurry without even allocating funds – It offers free health insurance of up to Rs 5 lakh. English Speakers are also eligible. The policy document is available in English too…
HurricaneFlorence battered the Carolinas in the US this week while HurricaneManghkatbattered the Philippines. President Trump told the Hurricane via CNN, “we are as ready as anyone’s ever been”, bring it on!
Have a good weekend and a great week ahead.
The author may be contacted at brian@newskarnataka.com
