“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
Osama Bin Laden, the alleged mastermind of 9/11, was killed in Pakistan by a surgical strike from two oceans and many countries away much like lightning from heaven kills those who challenge it. Osama bin unknown others have taken his place and there have been calls for further surgery to eradicate the self-regenerating menace. Yet, all hail it as a success.
Cancer ridden bodies are rid of cancer by surgical strikes every day. Glaucoma and organic stones are also eradicated by surgical laser strikes every day. They are ongoing operations and though they are lifesaving they are not celebrated either by the patients or the strikers because they know tomorrow another one is coming! The government relies on its AIMS (pun intended) so doesn’t realize that perhaps.
Even as there was a successful surgical strike by India on a cricket field in Dubai with the blessings of Lord Ganesha perhaps– my apologies for taking off on a tangent but I must say that Dubai is the land of India’s most wanted Swiss National to prove Indian Nationals guilty of an Italian offence – which surprisingly went largely uncelebrated ( it is the festive season and priorities are different and one was constantly confused by the purpose of the bursting of crackers) there was a call to celebrate a much older surgical strike all over again – this surgical strike across our western border involved our men and guns, was necessary, valorous, well planned and executed (like in the anonymous past) and a testimony to our armed forces ability not to take their punches lying down – to ensure we know how our soldiers are protecting us from the nefarious designs of our neighbours (especially the new all-rounder) on our borders and that the spirit of nationalism is built up in each one of us. This is based perhaps on the assumption that we don’t have it deep within us already and we have not seen the deliberately leaked footage of the surgical strike on TV and on YouTube! The only difference is our nostrils don’t flare, like some do, when we speak about the need for it and its actual execution. Maybe the government is trying to alter that reaction to include body language!
While the now clarified optional re-viewing, hope lies eternal that a viewing of the same does not involve a viewing of the faces of the government, because that would amount to sacrilege, when they are unable to stem the flow of killings by political means which indeed is their job. It is because they have fared poorly in their job, that the Jawans and police at the front line are getting killed and one surgical strike, however incisive it was, is not going to stem the spread of the cancer, is it? There must be one every day if the patient is to survive and revive…
Dead Cats on the table ahead of 2019 (like 2G, Coalgate (not Colgate or Maggi) in 2014)? They are coming alive and how! First fuel prices rose up like short flared skirts tackling Hurricane Harvey and then though costly, the fuel was added to the fire that is Rafale…Last week after the matter of the 2016 agreement between the Indian and French Governments for the purchase of 36 Rafale jets in 2016 was taken to the Supreme Court and to the Supreme Accounting Authority in the hope that they would add zeros to the scam figure being bandied about by some and sundry, (like they did in the past) the former French president in the eye of a cronyism storm, used the much admired fighter jet to drop a bomb on the Indian establishment much to the delight of its opponents. He is alleged to have revealed a state secret or is it a secret between two states or two statesmen? In hindsight, perhaps, a hug is a good opportunity for secrets…
In effect he is alleged to have told a French media portal Mediapart that it was the Indian Government that told them to initiate dialogue for a contract with the Anil Ambani led Reliance Defence for the offset contract for 50% of the deal value (which was allegedly hiked from the original deal). Communications must been strong, using the now defunct and debt-ridden Reliance Communication network for the deal to fructify with such a short wing-span as that of the Rafale Jet!
And here’s a news snippet from the front page in ‘The Hindu’ that may be interesting to some involved in the deal.
“India, France sign extradition treaty”
By Anjali Mody
PARIS, JAN 24 2003. The Deputy Prime Minister, Lal Krishna Advani, concluded his official visit to France today with the signing of a bilateral extradition treaty.”
The CBI is investigating the CBI and do we know how and where it will end? Do opposition party leaders know where investigations into their assets are going to end and how? We don’t. And guessmanship is not part of investigative work! But that won’t stop you from making wild guesses will that. So go ahead. I won’t stop you.
A report in the new Indian Express dated Sept 22nd says “that “second-in-command Rakesh Asthana (Special Director) approached the government with a note saying Director Alok Verma is interfering in probes undertaken by him and he is being vilified. The report quoting PTI went on to say “The infighting between the two top officers of the CBI escalated to unprecedented levels with the agency Friday terming a complaint by its second-in-command Rakesh Asthana against its Director Alok Verma before the CVC as ‘intimidation’ of the officers probing the former’s role in at least six cases.
Terming the complaint against Verma as “malicious and frivolous”, the CBI said, “it is an attempt by the complainant (Asthana) to intimidate the officers of CBI who are investigating his role in at least half a dozen cases”.
Reports of a rift between the two were doing rounds for long but it came out in open after Verma gave “his frank and free views” in a Central Vigilance Commission meeting last year to decide Asthana’s promotion as Special Director, the sources said.”
We all know by now that frank and free views in any medium are circumscribed by the doctrine of “reasonable restriction” and you mustn’t, because you can’t, reason with those who prescribe what is reasonable!As Marc Antony said with some variation, “and they are reasonable.”
Speaking of our investigative agencies, amidst the sharing of spoils crisis that threatened to separate the Karnataka Government’s tail from its body, there was a competition between the leaders of the Government and the Opposition about unleashing their investigative agencies on each other in pursuit of their political ends. It has been happening for eons, and is happening as I write, but now is the age of brutal frankness and it seemed like a catharsis for both parties. But for the common man, it was like listening to their own Mann ki Baat.
Last Word
As the Rafale Bombshell fell from the Rafale’s undercarriage, the AG (not the Attorney General, though he too) remained unruffled focusing on other less important things. Rather not name them, else they will become important.
On this hilarious note, let us all have a good weekend and a great week ahead.
The author can be contacted at brian@newskarnataka.com
