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Thursday, March 28 2024
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NK Satire: The Week that was Sep 2 to 8

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nk satire inner“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)

I really couldn’t tickle my funny bone last week so, I skipped my weekly satire column. What the heck I thought, you won’t miss it because you will have forgotten how to laugh by the end of the week – India lost the series in England, petrol became dearer than beer, which was always a dear and that’s no mean feat, especially in states where prohibition is in force :), and the two national political parties were still fighting missile and engine over a fighter jet, while the rain left the south to pick up its debris and droplets and moved on to the northeast to create another version of a natural wet dream. But, I was wrong, funny bones do love a tickle, and the column was indeed missed by those who have the bone and are not all muscle (like politicians). So, I am back with this week’s version and I’ll probably keep it short, given that the effects of last week are yet to wear off!

Satire aside, the truth is, I didn’t feel tickled because I was busy, tired and not in town. I was in Dallas, Texas, USA with a team from Newskarnataka.com to promote our media products at the world conference of the Association of the Kannada Kootas of America – abbreviated appropriately to AKKA ’18. Big Sister, not Big Brother, was the flavour of the week there like Didi was in India when a bridge collapsed in West Bengal and they couldn’t find out who was to blame for the disaster, the previous left-led government or the current developing opposition…

Held at the Sheraton Convention Centre in downtown Dallas, the conference, which had something for everyone – businessmen, professionals, artists and artistes, children, ladies, gents and indeed the couples – with veteran Sandalwood actor conducting a session of Adarsha Dampathigalu for them, saw nearly 5,000 people in attendance for over three days, totally enjoying the proceedings. We enjoyed them too – though we didn’t get to see much. We were busy explaining to people attending the conference, that Newskarnataka.com is the go-to news website for news and views from back home and the place to read this column. Most of those who visited our presence via a booth there (and it was almost all, because it was en route to the food buffet :)) promised to do so, and although the woods are dark and deep, we believe that since they have promises to keep, they will navigate the jungle of information out there and reach our website, to their delight.

In J&K, stone pelting is breakfast news because stones, like its politics, are recyclable… unlike bullets, and with a new government in Pakistan promising a new Pakistan, and India already experiencing a new India and the state in the hands of a new Governor, recycling is attaining new heights in anticipation of a climate change.

If bullets are used to stop the recycling factory, as they were on numerous occasions, stones attain what they call in Nuclear Physics, criticality. The J&K police, usually at the receiving end of this factory’s output, decided they must enter the factory to find out who the chief recyclers are, based on the Chinese theory of war – set a thief to catch a thief. It is not clear if they threw stones before they found out who else was throwing stones, but media reports say that key members of the Flintstone family (the American cartoon family from the stone age) were indeed caught… unawares by this “can’t beat ‘em join ‘em” strategy!

Not soon after the central government’s own statistics suggested that the Manmohan Singh era produced better GDP than the Modi era (the other Modi’s contribution to the economy notwithstanding), the former prime minister attacked the Narendra Modi-led government at the Centre on its implementation of the GST and schemes to improve ease of doing business. The ease with which he spoke – he speaks rarely – and the facts in the statistics only cemented the fact, that the ease of doing business has improved, the restrictions on WhatsApp notwithstanding.

An apology is in the air – it’s rare in India even in interpersonal relations and when it is to the nation, it can be considered very nationalistic if it comes from a person who claims so much, to be so! Everyone is waiting with bated breath. Viewership will touch a new high and the channel that will air it will benefit again!

The National Broadcasting Standard Authority (NBSA) has ordered Republic TV to issue an on-air apology for the derogatory comments made by its anchor and editor-in-chief Arnab Goswami, in a broadcast earlier in January. The independent body issued an order to the channel on August 30, based on a complaint by A Singh, other media reported. The apology is likely to be followed by a debate on how the lobby from Lutyens media manipulated the order to apologise. One hopes that the debate itself will not be a cause for further apologies.

Last Word

The raging debate of whether bachelor or married male politicians can hug each other (a conservative MLA had raised doubts in the run up to this week) was settled by the supreme court when it passed an order striking down section 377 which decriminalised the very same act for ordinary citizens. The hearing in the challenge to Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code concluded on July 17, 2018 in the Supreme Court. The hearing had commenced on July 10, 2018 before a Bench of Chief Justice Dipak Misra and Justices Rohinton Fali Nariman, AM Khanwilkar, DY Chadrachud and Indu Malhotra and lasted for four days. The section is a British legacy – introduced by the British during the colonial era, Section 377 penalises all sexual activities “against the order of nature“. Boy, that’s what’s causing climate change! Acts against the order of nature! May the hugs increase :) We may even have a government of national unity! That will be the day.

On this happy note, go ahead and hug your friends and neighbourhood politicians this bright and sunny weekend and have a great week ahead.

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Brian Fernandes

Brian is an alumnus of Roshni Nilaya’s Post Graduate School of Social Work, HR Department and has 30 years of local and international HR and General Management experience. Journalism, poetry, and feature writing is a passion which he is now able to pursue at will. Additionally, he loves compering and hosting talk shows. He loves learning and imparting it; so, when time permits, he provides leadership facilitation and soft skills training to Postgraduate students and Corporates in Mangaluru and Bengaluru. Besides, he is an accomplished Toastmaster under the aegis of Toastamasters.org and a designated Distinguished Toast Master.

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