“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code is in the news this week. The Supreme Court asked the centre for its opinion on whether adultery, as covered in Section 497, can be decriminalised while hearing a petition for the same. All married men need to read the section as it appears in the Indian Penal Code (aptly named don’t you think?) before committing adultery…. With a woman of course.
Here’s what the section says: And don’t laugh please! Or even smile. “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows… to be the wife of another man such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape is guilty of the offence of adultery and shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to five years or with a fine or with both. In such case, the wife shall not be punished as an abettor.” Gender neutrality is not the same as net neutrality – a principle the Telecom Commission has just reiterated it believes in! So there!
According to the section, for a married man, it’s a crime. The section does not say anything about adultery with an unmarried woman, because that is just quaintly called an extramarital affair – an extra marriage in the making? Take a leaf out of some of our film stars’ and Political leaders’ forests! Quite strange some would argue given that man cannot create an adult story alone! After all it takes two hands to clap…or to get the clap… after the event!
The MHA in its affidavit to the Supreme Court said that “the provisions of law, under challenge in the present writ, have been specifically created by the legislature in its wisdom to protect and safeguard the sanctity of marriage, keeping in mind the unique structure and culture of the Indian Society.” “It is submitted that striking down Section 497 of the IPC and section 198(2) of the Criminal Procedure Code will prove to be (note the presumptive tense) detrimental to the intrinsic Indian ethos which gives paramount importance to the institution of and sanctity of marriage”
Basically, it’s up to the man to say NO when confronted with an indecent proposal, and NO means NO as the Big B averred in the movie Pink albeit under different circumstances.
There’s another section of the Indian Penal Code in the news – Section 377 which criminalizes and penalizes “Consensual acts of adults in private”. Here, the Government had no wisdom to offer, neither the Indian ethos nor its pathos – their affidavit said they would leave the constitutional validity of the section to the wisdom of the Supreme Court – Wisdom they don’t seem to trust when the same Court nominates judges to the higher judiciary including itself… and jsu maybe it’s a coincidence that both the sections under review end with the number 7?
In cricket, pinch-hitters are celebrated, especially in the shorter version of the game. They are sought after, remunerated extremely well and even felicitated because of their heroics on the field. This week there was a carry over to the political field when an MP and a Union Minister, visited lynch-hitters and enquired about their health and garlanded and felicitated them respectively.
As the PM told the Swarajya Magazine (they need a little more of it – Swarajya – I guess), Milk and Mercedes cannot be treated the same, for those who create the former do not ride in the latter (they might in the future though), and those who ride in the latter, do not or rarely drink the former – They have a different health drink. This philosophy was borne out by the glut of milk in the Dakshina Kannada and Udupi districts. So much so that the Dakshina Kannada Co-operative Milk Producers Union has announced a bonanza for consumers – including those who ride in Mercedes’! – Consumers will get a 180 Ml of Trupti long shelf milk sachet free with every 500 ml, 1 and 6-litre packs of milk it sells… Its long life milk for a long life… so milk the offer…
Good rain calls for a grand Dasara, Karnataka CM Kumaraswamy has told district authorities, media reports say. This he said after a bountiful monsoon, which has already filled the reservoirs across the state. It’s also his first (and he is himself not sure how many more there will be during the lifetime of the current assembly) Dasara as the new Chief Minister. He has told the officials that there should be innovative and creative programs this time round – Poor elephants on the field, what will the elephants in the room come up with?
Hey, and you know what? NPAs are no longer a problem. Bank loans won’t turn bad – they will be waived. CM Kumaraswamy told the Karnataka Assembly in his reply to the debate on his budget, that he would hike the loan waiver by 10700 Crore, and enhance the incentive from Rs. 25,000 to Rs. 1 lakh each, to those farmers who have repaid loans taken from Cooperative societies. He also told the assembly, he is considering waiving of education loans of students who have completed their graduation… Next is personal loans for wedding expenses :) By the end of the current assembly, there will be no NPAs in Karnataka. They will all be recycled… unlike plastic.
In Moscow, Russia was ‘Putin’ its place by Croatia via penalties – that is if Croatia don’t suffer any penalties because of their win in Russia (after all Yugoslavia of which Croatia was a part, was a satellite of the Soviet Union, of which Russia was a major part) – and it was Brexit all over again at the semifinals as Croatia sent them back to their original borders. Meanwhile, France beat Belgium and wasn’t it a sweet victory especially after a Belgian not long ago, beat them with a gun and bombs? The two neighbours, France and Croatia, will now battle it out for the FIFA title – It’s a gender battle off the field – Macron vs Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovi?, two dynamic, handsome charismatic leaders. One thing’s for sure – the cup will stay in Europe… not cross the borders pending a settlement of the Brexit dispute! That must be a relief for the European Union.
18-year-old Hima Das created history and how. Coming from behind to win gold in the World under 20 Athletic Championships. Gold, yes you heard it right! Hima was a revelation. To a nation brought up on a diet of cricket and hockey in reverse order, it was a moment to realize that there are persons who are trying to excel in other sports too… and they need a lot of support from the government and the public. The Union sports minister, an Olympic medal winner himself, is, from all accounts putting his heart and soul into creating a sporting ecosystem to create superstars in other sports too and must be lauded for it. It’s a difficult race to run, but he too can come from behind and win the race, being a former athlete himself, albeit a shooter. He can be a sports shooting star!
Last Word
The Sensex lived up to its name this week – read the name again if you please! – taking its stakeholders to a new high of 36548 points. But this great news came with a rider – You have to file your personal IT returns by the end of this month unless you want to contribute additionally to India’s ‘acche din’, by way of a fine Fine!
On this sour note, let me end my satire for the week. Hope lies eternal that you will have a great weekend, especially if you have borrowed from a cooperative society and a great week ahead either way!
The author can be contacted at brian@newskarnataka.com
