“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
Citizen is a famous Japanese watch brand which tells you whether you are on time or not, and accurately. Apparently, some in the eastern state of Assam are not… they are 40 years, or more, late to be an Indian Citizen, because registration, depending entirely perhaps on your name or your lack of paperwork, closed, oh so long ago. The citizen watch that they have is running out of time, even though it started ticking in 1951 and is an eco-drive – it never dies on you because it depends on the environment – and the environment must be…
One explanation for the urge to enter India from neighbouring countries and remain here must be the “acche din” (same like Indians going abroad). They (acche din) must be here if the National Register of Citizens (NRC) is anything to go by… Nearly 40 Lakh people in one state alone, find that they don’t belong here even after 40 odd years, all because acche din are here. They want to remain here to enjoy those “din” but, will they be told that acche din nahi aaye? The whole issue is creating a din of a different kind!
In contrast, Indians themselves and the government too, think that acche din are in the USA or Canada, rather than here (the Government keeps bringing up the Americans visa and immigration policy with them so often that one is beginning to wonder), and they are being corrected quickly- They are being told, much to their chagrin, that the acche din can be found in their own country. Now, that doesn’t go down well with the upwardly mobile people of India- Nirav, Vijay and Mehul bhai included, especially when they find that now there is even a quota system that educational institutes follow in the lands of perceived acche din – and the Indian Quota fills up rapidly.
Fanney Khan too, in the movie of the same name, was doubtful when he sang the song “Mere Achhe Din Kab Aayenge”. Quickly, he was made to realise that they are indeed here or will be here by May 2019, and he changed his song to “Achhe Din Ab Aaye Re”… and got his name on the NRC.
However, singing that tune is an invitation to a lot more people to come over to what seems like a land of opportunity in our neighbourhood – whether to throw bombs or earn a living – and enjoy these din even if they can’t find a place in or to register… or the document to register themselves as a citizen. Recall how the British went about their colonies singing paeans to the Great Britain that they were after conquering the world… now, all the people from those countries, including India, want to visit, legally or illegally and be a part of that great story – even if the manuscript has already gone to the publisher and been turned down as a damp squib!
The irony remains: all people in the rest of the country are citizens, whether you have an Aadhar card or not, pan card or not, Jan Dhan account or not, Voter ID or not. In Assam, however, they may have all of these, but their name must find a place in the register and that is apparently a hit or miss, much like the Indian batsmen playing the English Seamers in the first test (which by the way, like the NRC, is interestingly poised). Having missed out on an entry in the register, the CEC and the Apex Court have clarified that for the time being, they will not miss out on anything else. Their vote will be banked – for tis’ as valuable as a Jan Dhan account was during the demonetisation process.
Sadly though, leader speak cannot but betray guilt – One leader says they (those not on the register) should go back to their own country, one says they should be shot (already plenty of that going around), yet another says we should carry out a similar exercise in another state… In America, there is a similar rhetoric – one immigrant calling the rest of the immigrants “black” to rephrase an idiom. In India though, the babies are still with their mothers – even in the register!
Next, I must speak of babies and adultery, but not in the same breath – I’ll use space separated paragraphs. First Adultery – because it precedes the babies chronologically. The Apex court is hearing a petition that seeks to strike down a clause that makes a man liable for punishment for adultery – with a married woman – (interestingly only if there is no consent or connivance of the husband and that is very unlikely) and not the woman. It’s a 150-year-old clause, which looks as though it has outlived itself – there are too many adult stories nowadays for it to sustain. Besides, when gender equality is being claimed with equanimity in all fields of human endeavour, this petition is pregnant with the profundity of the campaign itself!
Babies, not so much babies any more, but young girls in shelter homes – homes meant to substitute for their parents, homes meant to nurture, nourish and narrate stories of their achievement – are being subjected to unspeakable horrors by those meant to foster their development. The state government, which oversees all of this, is mum, pun intended, while we are numb! And for some strange reason – possibly emanating from our rich cultural heritage – neither the lynch review nor the law review carry this story of miscarriage of justice.
All of this in the north of the country, but down south, but again in the north of the state of Karnataka, people (or self-appointed leaders ala TRS) want to form a separate state so that they can develop, they say, like the south. Earlier, it was language that separated a state from its people, now it appears to be governance, or more likely, the semblance of governance. A second capital in the area is the solution mooted – not irrigation, not drinking water, not roads, not farm inputs, not private industry, not education, not artisanship – only this would ensure the development of the people – but, is there enough capital for the capital ala Amaravati?
Last Word
The Centre always has the last word! Media reports say it has cleared the elevation of Justice K M Joseph along with two others! This, even as the Court reviewed its own order in the case of Judge Loya’s death based on a petition by the Bombay Lawyers Association. Nothing changed – the court, the bench, the order. How can it? It was only a review, not a revision and mustn’t be looked at with derision!
Register now – for the next Xaomi flash Sale – else you may find yourself declared ineligible! Have a good weekend and a great week ahead.
The author can be contacted at brian@newskarnataka.com
