“Laughter is an instant vacation,” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue-in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
The week ended on a high note. Liquor and Petrol the intoxicants of man and machine were put on an equal footing and attained a new high in Karnataka, while farmer loans were waived – a long-standing demand of a strong voter base fulfilled by the CM of Karnataka. Sadly for him, Vijay Mallya’s loans were not included in this waiver even though ironically he is a son of the soil and it was the high cost of aviation fuel that helped him default on his loans.
Meanwhile, the farmer in Karnataka can now face life confidently – he will have no need to resort to diary keeping like the family in Burari of Delhi (not dairy keeping, which he must as it is incomparable to a Mercedes) – he can now borrow anew and use the money to pay the higher cost of fuel for his tractor, tiller and generator. And with a good monsoon, and another waiver – this time from the central government before the end of the financial year – as we head into the Lok Sabha elections, Life’s Good could be the new farmer tagline around his house as he accumulates goods from the house of LG – the consumer appliances giant, not the one ensconced in Delhi – we will review that line later…
Meanwhile, the PM feels that different strokes for different ‘Loks’ is the way forward. That’s not what he told the Lok Sabha, but the Swarajya Magazine up north… justifying his position that milk and Mercedes cannot be treated the same, little knowing perhaps that those who ride the Mercedes too drink milk. And you can’t tell them don’t drink and drive! I consulted a couple of experts on the relationship between the animal and the machine and the experts were of one opinion – they cannot be equated because their prices are different for the right reasons – the cost that goes into making them. Their taxes can, however, be the same because they occupy equal space on the road. In fact, there are fewer Mercedes on the road. Secondly, they told me that the same rate will garner differential revenues to the government because their base values are different. However, there would be one concern – Mercedes may replace the symbol of the national identity on the road and that is the real concern. We really don’t want another European country to dominate us do we?
Speaking of European countries, even as they battle the influx of migrants and squabble among themselves about how to handle them, they are the ones who used to get them past the first rounds of the FIFA World cup. This time, their attitude towards the migrants must have weighed heavily on the mind of those defending their adopted countries on the football pitch. Most European countries, barring England which anyway has dissociated itself from the European Union, and Belgium which seems to have treated its migrants well, survived the quarterfinals. Stars of the hall of fame are now stars of the hall of shame in their respective countries as Portugal, Spain, Germany, Argentina and Brazil all found that their feet were too far apart for the football… its good, however, that the football which is kicked around with skill and disdain has both the colours (are they colours?) black and white in equal measure.
Last Word
The house of horrors in Delhi was more than our cops, the public, the psychologists, the psychiatrists and the media, yes the media could handle! It is mind-boggling that an en-masse suicide can help you obtain moksha when “acche din” are here…
This week’s satire is short on words but long on satire. But, I can proudly say that I have a job, even though the PMO’s office may not have the data on the job (as he told the Swarajya). I drank my milk and resolved to travel by metro – It’s going to be a great weekend – Will it? Can’t go far or high… But folks have a great week ahead.
