“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down and broke his crown, And Jill came tumbling after…
Even though the summer is upon us, it’s raining scams, with zeros for hail stones. It shouldn’t surprise us, for we were promised a scam free Government, we gladly accepted that assurance, and the scams are indeed coming freely. From 2G to 111600G it’s been a short journey.
The PNB scam came to light around the time of Valentine’s Day, on which ILU’s were exchanged frequently and surreptitiously (by necessity). But the ILU’s were soon replaced with LOU’s (another acronym – someone does love acronyms), which were also penned and exchanged frequently and surreptitiously in the run up to this year’s Valentine’s Day. Soon we learnt that almost all these LOU’s were penned and signed with Rotomac pens, before the ink in them ran out and the CBI had to arrest the owner and indeed his family members, just to refill the pens!
It does look like demonetisation has met its objectives – Businesses that were able to pay back loans till Nov 8th 2016, apparently de-faulted (and the nation wants to know – whose fault!) putting everyone at risk – the lender and its employees, the borrower and his employees (who are literally crying for their future), the government and its carefully nurtured image and poor us and our hard earned money. Probably ‘poor us’ benefit the most as our money seems to have attained nirvana in Dubai, Belgium, New York or wherever.
The PNB scam brought out the best in governance and television – The best in governance was raids, seizures (of men and material) and silence (save for the defence by the defence minister), and on television, was GPS (locating Nirav Modi), de-fault finding and guilt by association – of some of the anchors and some of the politicians.
According to the anchors (some of them) everybody (the nation) wants to know where Modi (Nirav Modi that is), the kingpin of the scam is, not where the money is and how it will return to the coffers of the PNB. Not sure how his location matters, because as he said in his letter to the PNB, all he had (in India) was already in the custody of the Government, who seemed to have been more efficient at counting and valuing its new found assets than it was in counting and accounting for the demonetized notes – maybe out of fear of public anger!
Nirav Modi’s lawyer appearing on television was a law unto himself, apparently because of his knowledge of it. Indeed he put the anchors who questioned him through the legal wringer and they were quite discomfited – because for once the shoe was on the other foot. He even asked one anchor if he had read the LOU he was referring to. It was quite the spectacle, better perhaps than the serials we watch regularly, but unlike the serial, never re-run… for obvious reasons! He seemed unduly confident of getting his client off the hook through the robustness of the legal process which he said would begin only after the Charge sheet is filed. His confidence stemmed it appears, from a successful defence of some of the accused in the 2G Scam… but this is 11600G!
Only time will tell, and a long time at that, how long it will take to monetize the seized assets in favour of the affected bank (in custody they too are as good as the demonetized currency in the RBI’s vaults) or return them to the original owner via the ‘robust’ legal process. It was James Bond who rightly said many years ago, that Diamonds are forever!
Even as the Union Government was counting its chickens (before they are hatched), the PM was in Mysuru electioneering ahead of Karnataka’s assembly polls. Interestingly, it was at this very time he asked a question of the assembled people at a rally – whether they wanted a government with a “mission” or one that works “only for commission”. Quite the rhetorical question one would say, given the timing and circumstances.
And in Bengaluru, at a pub, the keg was full and anger spilt over in a manner that would be hard to clean up – because the glass was brittle, full of spittle and froth and easy to crack. The son of a Congress MLA, himself a youth congress leader – by virtue of his heritage perhaps – and his friends allegedly brutally assaulted a man at a pub, allegedly again (we don’t know what a nuanced investigation will throw up yet) for stretching his fractured leg which was in a cast, following which the leader was expelled from the party for six years. In an election year, this incident spelled unnecessary disaster for the ruling party and they were quick to put the scion and his friends behind bars – real ones. However, public anger has turned towards the father now, questioning him, not on his parenting skills, but on his continuation as a public representative! The victim has a fractured nose and cracked ribs and is still in the ICU and may be shifted abroad for treatment and perhaps his safety, while the scion is in jail hoping for bail.
This week saw a unique programme – Pariksha-pe-charcha – for students by the PM, during which he answered a range of questions on how to tackle exam stress, stressing the need to develop self-confidence which comes from working hard, honesty and preparing well (not by spending time in the Himalayas). This crucial piece of advice probably came too late for UP’s students who stayed away from the board exams in droves, tackling exam stress in a unique way.
Staying with education, reports say that under the Yogi’s chief ministership, there would be less educated unemployed – for those who were unemployed would not be educated! He has made it hard to be called one among the educated unemployed this year, by initiating measures like frisking and security cameras to prevent copying (taking a cue, in Bihar candidates were asked to enter the exam hall bare footed!), which was the easiest way to be one until last year, so much so that 10 lakh students never showed up at the exam hall itself. So, what about those who had passed the exam in previous years with flying colours (other than saffron) and were already flying high somewhere? Maybe a re-certification exam is called for after a Pariksha-pe-charcha programme by the CM?
A tale of two rivers is about to reach its last chapter. While the Supreme Court passed an order that provided Karnataka its due of the Cauvery waters on the basis of Bengaluru’s thirsty population (Bengaluru has an estimated population of 10.1 million in its urban area, up from 8.5 million in 2011 of which 28% is Tamil speaking), arguments were winding up in the tribunal hearing Goa’s petition against Karnataka’s intent to divert 7.56 TMC of water from its tributaries in the Mahadayi basin to satiate the thirst of its people in north Karnataka rather than let it flow into the Arabian sea (for the fish to drink!). The tribunal’s order is expected in August 2018 and it could benefit either the fish or the people, but will not benefit either of the contending political parties. Either way, it will most likely open up a fresh round of agitation and litigation, given the levels of thirst involved.
Invest your monies in diamonds (they are forever) and have a good weekend!
