“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here’s the tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)
I thought I’d begin the New Year with a clear head to facilitate clarity of thought, (it was one of my resolutions in 2016 too). So, on the last day of the year 2017 – the last day of the week, the month and the year – I went to my regular hair stylist– I call them hair stylists due to peer pressure – M Hair cutting saloon, for a haircut. I’m glad I did, for the ongoing conversation inside the saloon was very interesting – Each one was asking the other or describing to the other his (it was not a unisex saloon yet – still old school, even though I refer to them as Hair Stylists!) plans for the evening. Everyone had a “Baitak” as they put it, to attend – They were of course referring to a “Chintan Baitak”. The flow of conversation revealed that at such “Baitaks” the thoughts flow at the pace liquids do and indeed find their own level towards the end – Plans to change themselves, change their circumstances, change others and even change the world generally dominated such “Baitaks’, which is really how the world progresses! – Take the case of the American President’s tweet – the social media app with limited characters – on our neighbouring country’s personality traits on the 1st of January – One ‘Baitak’ was all it took for realisation to dawn!
Most of panellists of the Pre-Baitak at the Saloon, were worried about a strong police presence on the roads and threats of disruption of public events of revelry by people who revel in such activity – It would be a great start to the New year for them to make the headlines on the 1st! Which set me wondering – How did our police usher in the New Year? In watchful frustration it would seem. There was no ‘Baitak’ for them – they were on their feet the whole night. I do hope the revellers spared a thought for them, if nothing else, as they allowed the previous night’s thoughts to ferment in their sleep the next day. Without the normal in-built humour I say, thank you Sirs for keeping the peace and keeping us safe that night, so that we may see the dawn of the New Year.
Indians are avid users of the Instant Messaging App – WhatsApp. Most Indians were wide awake at 12 midnight on 31st December 2017, the last day of the year, waiting for the bells to toll, sorry… chime. For, it was when they heard the bell ring, that they would greet and wish their friends and family and possibly all and sundry – on WhatsApp! WhatsApp anticipated this, yet went on an unannounced holiday between 12 midnight and 1 am, when the service was restored, leaving thousands of Indians in a real tizzy, as though their world had come to an end. This was evident from their reactions on twitter – A WhatsApp sibling limited in character. How did we ever greet each other on such occasions in the past I wonder and painstakingly recall – with a hug and a cheek to jowl moment, and not a GIF! Unfortunately I, and I’m sure you too, are very close to forgetting how!
It’s time for resolutions. Make yours and write it in sand. Store the sand in a cardboard box, and accidently burn it! Never put it down on your Google calendar, coz, there’s no escape, not even a fire escape, just as there wasn’t one for the poor revellers in a pub in Mumbai either one floor above or more so below where they were, which resulted in the death of 14 innocent party goers.
It’s maximum city no doubt, but only providence and the Almighty ensured that the tragedy was minimal. Fire is a possibility even in the most ideal circumstances, because all it requires is a spark, but when it occurs due to blatant negligence, people need to be fired on both sides of the business government continuum – that’s a given. But, the ice water factory was at hand and the concerned officials, those way down the pecking order, were merely suspended pending enquiry even as the enquiry itself was entrusted to the man who might necessarily have to be enquired into – in the last week of the year, these can only be called complications of the season!
It was then the demolition man emerged with his axe and a coordinated and unremorseful revengeful attitude and actions over the next few days – leaving many with deep holes in their pockets – Employers and employees alike. It appeared that they were all fired up and no fire hose could touch them – but the irony is, if they had been consistently fired up in the first place, maybe there wouldn’t have been a fire and no one need have been fired!
Speaking of fire, many cities across the world heralded the New Year with spectacular and colourful fireworks displays when ironically, just days before California in the southern United States, suffered from a massive forest fire which even entered Los Angeles.
The sound of the fire crackers was the same as gunfire in a terrorist attack, yet it was welcomed by the crowds – none panicked and ran away, instead they stood rooted to the spot looking upwards with hope tinged with fear as the undisputed Leader of North Korea, in his New Year Message to his nation and world, revealed that while most office goers have laptops or desktops on their tables, he has a nuclear button – which once pressed is not amenable to the Ctrl+Alt+Delete and End Task sequence– It’s shut down time without a reboot. His chess board rival, claimed, ‘Mine’s bigger’.
Two Tamil Nadu’s cine superstars have decided to stop the reel, and turn real. They have announced their intention to float their ‘own ‘political parties to take the state and the country on the path to progress. Till date their on screen stunts have translated into notes, but will they translate into votes is the question on every News Anchor’s lips!
Branding in politics is as important as it is in the consumer business, for voters are, in a sense consumers. So, one of them has branded himself ‘Citizen K’ or one among us – neither above, nor below, but always by the side of the voter, even though Voter always plays within the “V” – If you are a cricket buff, you’ll understand! The other says his brand will be spiritual politics. Everyone knows politics is a spirited game – both the holy and the unholy (Spirit) variety!
Is it a good thing that actors turn politicians? On stage, drama is the hallmark of both, an adept politician and a brilliant actor. They can orate with ease and brilliant voice modulation, emote at the drop of a line, play the victim when it suits the script and the audience, shed tears on call, beat their breasts in anguish at the events surrounding them, roll their eyes in disgust and pain with equal ease. There is one difference – When an actor fibs with what appears to be genuine emotion it’s easier for ordinary people to accept, for we know he’s an actor, and that’s what he does best! So the pinch of Salt is always at hand. But when a politician attempts the very same act…
The National Institution for Transforming India (Niti Aayog), has developed a vision for India – Long sight is 15 years while short sight is three years. It is bi-focal and best viewed with wide angle progressive lenses. But as dawn broke on the New Year, New Week and New Day in 2018, visibility was hardly 50 meters in the National Capital and flight and train schedules suffered disruption – even VIP Contact lenses couldn’t help!
Finally, the CBFC is reported to have cleared the supposedly controversial film Padmavati with 5 minor alterations/cuts. It also ordered the Film’s producers to drop the “I” in its name. I’m not sure how that would make a difference to the content of the film, but the news set me wondering as to what would happen if the iPhone was as asked to do a similar exercise – Would it become an ordinary phone or remain unique? After all, as Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”
Have a good weekend and a great year ahead!
